All that I give I give to myself.

I had lunch with a girlfriend at Kinokuniya the other day. I was telling myself the day before to get another book. Get something that can be inspiring. Me and my girl were discussing about how to find ourselves again, how to adapt to the inevitable changes that Life has brought upon us, changes that inevitably comes with our set of choices. How to be independent while being dependent. What was different then. Stuff like that. It's important, girl talk. It IS.

Which brought us to the subject that we used to write, to channel our thoughts, our energy. It doesnt help that my previous blogs are now defunct. Sayang jugak, since I've been writing since 2003. So taking chance of that moment, konon-konon buat la blog baru. Tapi sampai hari ni tak tertulis-tulis.

Going back to the lunch date, I went with a mindset to buy a book. A book I've googled earlier, kebetulan buku tu lebih kurang sama tajuk dgn blog aku yang baru online tu. Lepas makan, pegi la cari buku tu. I find myself gravitating towards books pasal thoughts2 ni, especially after reading buku Greg Mortensen tu. I know, i should read la books pasal leadership ke pasal duit ke, but i find those books as more of an instruction. It feels more like a chore. You have to do this, do that. And i know now that i dont work really well with instructions. Lagi di suruh, lagi tak dibuat.

Aaaaanyway, about that book. From Kino's directory kiosk, jumpa la jugak. Dalam database tunjuk macam banyak je buku dia kat situ. Tapi bila pegi tgk kat shelf, ada satu title je. Satu pun jaaadilah..nanti pegi Borders pulak kot-kot ada titles dia yang lain.

So last night i had the time to read it. A few pages je, sebab terlalu penat & mata berat (sampai rumah pukul 9plus). The book is a collection of thoughts. You know, it's like the feeling you get when you read Kahlil Gibran's books. It reads like that voice in your head. It's incredible.

So today i googled more about him. Ada satu site tulis pasal semua quote2 dia. It seems like i only discovered him late in my life. Aku sorang je kot? But according to him it's not too late. And did i mention that the book was placed under the "Mid Life Crisis" section? Sounds funny, but maybe i am going through that, i guess. So many questions, so little bravery to go out and find the answers. Chicken sh*t, kata orang.

 So there you go, sebenarnya aku cuma nak cerita pasal aku tengah cuba baca buku ni je. Takde topic hangat pun. Thanks sebab sudi 'mendengar' thoughts aku ini.

So i'll end with his quote i found from a website. Something that i would like to tell myself everyday. Today, i'll start today. Today I tell myself this:

I am responsible for what I see.
I can elect to change all thoughts that hurt.
I could see peace instead of THIS.
The past is over - it can touch me not.
This instant is the only time there is.
Today I will judge nothing that occurs.
I am not the victim of the world I see.
I can escape from the world I see by giving up attack thoughts.
I am determined to see things differently.
I am never upset for the reason I think.
Forgiveness is the key to happiness.

All that I give I give to myself.

Hugh Prather
~Love Is Letting Go of Fear